If you wear sunglasses instead of a jacket during the winter you’d be pretty cool
Like a sofa and an oven. It would bake delicious cookies, warm your seat, and the only downside is that it’s a massive fire hazard.
or like a lava lamp and a cat. So that like, the cat is even more interesting to watch because in addition to doing cat things it’s also a lava lamp.
So today I was on the bus with senna when she pointed out an unusual hair
It’s a bit hard to see, but that came out of my head. That is not from my wig. I grew a vibrant orange hair. Apparently it’s possible to change your hair color with sheer willpower. Either that or I am literally becoming Gaius.
Sitting at my bus stop waiting to catch a bus when I suddenly realized, I’m a camel and I can just walk to my destination. Besides, I don’t really have the opposable thumbs to pay the bus driver, so it’s just better this way anyway. Good thing I stored a lot of water in my hump today.
Did you know that monkey’s don’t actually like bananas? Monkey’s don’t like anything. Monkey’s are dangerous psychopaths that hate everything and want to decimate all life on earth.
Stuck in the snow unable to get up a hill in my neighborhood because my neighborhood never gets salted, even before the salt shortage thing happened. Yay!
So I’m at my family dentist with my dad and the dentist pulls out this swimsuit edition of sports illustrated and is like “hey, enjoy” as a joke I guess and my dad hands it to me so I’m just like well I’m not interested so I’m just gonna awkwardly hold on to it…
And then my dad is like “this is probably an expensive magazine. Let me look through it.” so he does, and he’s just like “ads for alcohol. Beer. Drugs. Hey look, it’s an ad for my credit card!”
And then he just goes “some of these women are ugly. Isn’t this a barbie?” and he shows me the page and it is literally a barbie doll.
He just says “her legs are so long she could be a praying mantis. Disgusting.”
And then he’s like “well, if you’ve seen one of these girls you’ve seen them all.”
My dad is like…older less intelligent Sheldon or something. xD
I’m not a teenager running a blog, im a teenage rock running a blog. But hey, at least my posts are…